Soul Mates: real genuine community


 Do you believe in soul mates?

We do.

We believe our souls, the pieces within that make us innately “us”, were made to be connected to one another in community.

See, the absolute best things happen when we come together in friendship. We can learn and grow and heal simply from sharing life together, and something about that just strikes us as magical.

This weekend the Be Bona Fide team (plus our handsome sidekicks) gathered around our new Ikea table and laughed over heaping plates of steaming orzo with roasted veggies, balsamic pork tenderloin, rolls, and fresh strawberry crisp with vanilla ice cream for dessert. It wasn’t perfect, the meat was a little over done and we had to bundle in my husband’s Patagonia sweatshirts to brave the spring chill, but we were together and for my hungry heart this meant more than can be described.

I moved to Dallas last July after months of long distance love with my good man. It was time, and just like that we packed up my old jeep and headed to the south y’all. There are so many things that I love about this lively city (1. There is queso everywhere), but I miss my mountains and most of all I miss my people.

I know the importance and power of community, because I had an AMAZING one in Colorado. Full of people of all different ages and backgrounds who loved me and let me love them, which is such a great gift isn’t it? I had weekly coffee dates, “family dinner” nights, work-out buddies, and I watched the bachelor with a group of women every Monday. I had people to pray with and cry with and best of all I had people to laugh with.

The kind of stuff forever friends are made of and I’m forever grateful.

Here’s the deal though: it took years to develop that kind of community and a lot of hard work. It took showing up and pushing through the awkward stage of getting to know each other. It took grace and patience for myself and others, and most of all it took a willingness to be vulnerable.

Brene brown says, “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world.”

Isn't that a beautiful thought? When we choose to be bona fide we open up opportunities for true belonging.

Trust me, I am very aware of how scary this is, I’m completely in the thick of it, but I would hate to miss discovering a new soul mate just because I’m afraid.

So here are my goals: talk to one old friend on the phone every day, spend time with one new friend twice a week, and have a dinner party once a month. Baby steps.


What steps can you take this week to develop your community and be bona fide? Do you need to set aside time and gain some courage to actually start creating one? Or do you need to feed and nurture the one you already have?