Baby Luke’s Birth Story
08 August 2017 / 9:30 PM / Clements Hospital Dallas TX
Big life events never go quite as you would imagine in your head-- and baby Luke's birth story was exactly that. It was emotional, scary, hard, but hands down the best experience of my life. The feeling I had after he was born exceeded any feeling I have ever felt. No one can explain that rush of a mother's love you immediately have for this brand new little spirit. I will cherish that moment he was placed into my arms forever.
It was Tuesday the 8th (his due date) and I had gone to sleep with contractions and woke up at 6am with MUCH stronger ones. I was scheduled to be induced less than 24 hours later. But something told me he was not going to wait another 24 hours to meet us.
I told Ryan that this was it- "We are having this baby!”. He looked at me and said “Is this for sure go time?” (I had several waves of braxton hicks earlier in the week which lead to... no baby :). My face said it all-- he then quickly emailed his resident to let him know that I was going into labor! While I labored at home from 6am to 12pm, Ryan and I tried to do some last minute prep work for Baby Luke's arrival.
Because Ryan had been so busy with school he never got the chance to put Luke's dresser together. I remember in between contractions thinking, what is wrong with me?? Why are we still getting ready for this baby to arrive?? I felt a wave of anxiety, as so many thoughts were running through my mind. “Am I really ready to become a parent?” “Why am I such a procrastinator?” “Can we really do this?'" “This baby deserves better!"
After counting the contractions until about four minutes apart, we hopped in the car and made our way to the hospital.
We were sent to a room and I was hooked up to a monitor. The monitor showed the contractions were coming every 2 to 4 minutes, and YES, they were strong! Ryan sat with me in the room as I made funny faces, said weird words, and struggled through the pain.
I was dilated to a 3 and they decided to break my water to get things going faster. They talked about how long first pregnancies take and how I could be in labor for 24 hours etc. etc. At this time Ryan said he was going to run home and take out Bernie (our pup) and finish working on the dresser. The nurse came in not too long after Ryan left, and she saw my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. She checked me and I was already dilated to a 6! I immediately called Ryan and he raced back over. The next time the Dr. came in and checked me- she said- "You are at a 10, complete, start pushing!” I was so thrown off! How did this happen so fast!?
I gave it a go-- I pushed for about 45 minutes and then we ran into some complications. Luke's heart rate started to drop and they immediately put me on oxygen. The Dr. decided to give me a 40 minute break to let me and the baby rest, and told me we would try again after the break. I was nervous with this being my first time in labor, and of being so afraid that something might go wrong, that I was so nervous for Luke! We were so close to meeting him.
The time came when it was time for me to start pushing again. They took off my oxygen mask and I knew I had to give it everything I had. I had le bestie Larz, along with the nurse and Ryan, all at my head helping me push through the contractions. At one point I remember saying; “Don’t tell me I’m doing a good job,- just tell me to PUSH HARD!” I guess I do better in labor without the positive reinforcement!? Haha.
I will never forget when the Dr. made the call to send up an ICU Dr. It had been 30 minutes of pushing and Little Luke's heart was continuing to drop -- I could no longer hear his heart beating through the monitor. The scariest sound in the entire world. My body was numb with fear and all I could think about was how I needed to get him out safely. Everything, everyone and every ounce of pain escaped from me. I gave the last pushes all my strength and the moment I heard a little cry was the sweetest sound I have ever heard.
An intense feeling of love came over me, a feeling that I did not know I was capable of having.
My heart had already grew to let in this amount of love, I did not know was possible.
After being so afraid that there were going to be complications the sound of that first cry immediately brought me to tears. The moment he came out and I heard him cry - was so powerful. I held him tight and just repeated in tears "he is so perfect".
In a world where we preach "it's not meant to be perfect" (@bebonafide). This little angel and all the angel babies out there are 100 percent the exception to the rule.
How can a little bundle that you have not even met yet have so much power over you?
Though, I would say we may not have been the most prepared couple when it comes with all the gadgets and a nursery. I will say the love that Ryan and I have for this little miracle is more than any crib or dresser could ever hold.
I just love this little being with all my heart and I know that this little guy will forever challenge me, change me and push me. It will change mine and Ryan's relationship, but I know all this change will be for the better.
We love you baby Luke! We are forever grateful to add you to the Barlow family.