happy

Happy

Did you know that 40 million adults struggle with anxiety in the US?

It’s a staggering statistic, but for some reason I don’t feel very surprised.

How often do you hear people answer “stressed” when asked how they’re doing? How often do you report your life as being “busy” above all else? We live in a culture that’s chasing the idea of more, and this unquenchable appetite leaves us feeling either worn out or hungry or frustrated by the fact that we just can’t seem to get “there”.

Where is “there” though? What is it we’re looking for?

I think the answer is different for everyone, but ultimately boils down to happiness.

We just want to be happy. And not in a selfish childish way, we want to be happy in deep sincere way that overflows into the life happening around us.

Don’t you want that? Why is it so hard to find?

Did you know that researchers have found a relationship between the rise in cases of anxiety in America and the rise in the number of people who are more influenced by extrinsic motivation (external rewards/consequences) than intrinsic motivation (internal satisfaction/morals)? Meaning, there’s something about seeking satisfaction in status and money and praise that induces more anxiety than chasing things that bring an inner sense of achievement and meaning.

I don’t think we’ve become unaffected or uninterested in intrinsic motivation - I know we long to be passionate and brave and proud of the lives we live - but I wonder if we are too easily distracted by the thrill of extrinsic motivation. There’s something more thrilling about someone telling you you’re beautiful than simply believing it, just like there’s something more thrilling about winning a race than going for a run just because you love it. The problem is though, thrills are only temporary. They quickly dissolve when life gets hard.

Psychiatrist Viktor Frankl spent his life researching the importance of finding meaning in all seasons of life. What’s amazing though, is that Frankl survived four concentration camps during WWII and still believed this. He knew better than anyone that life will never be easy or free from pain, and that’s precisely why he explained we need to hold on to something stronger and more powerful than temporary pleasures. Frankl believed that meaning and purpose and passion lead to a happy life, that when we’re head bent, hustling toward our destiny we’ll find pockets of sweet happiness all along the way.

Being told I’m beautiful and likeable and smart and funny makes me incredibly happy, but I know that happiness will quickly wear off if I don’t believe those things myself.

I want to experience the kind of happy that makes my heart beat faster.The kind that flings me forward, head first into life. I don’t want happy that dissolves in my mouth, I want happy that tastes like Funfetti and pink champagne! And, to get this kind of happiness I know I need to do more than look for it externally, I need to find it within.

40 million Americans struggle with anxiety and I know from personal experience that this is often caused by a wide arrange of chemical imbalances in our bodies. At the same one though, I wonder if the number would decrease if we weren’t so frantically trying to grasp onto things we think will make us happy only to have them slip away a few minutes later.

Now, to finish up are you ready for the cheesiest quote of all time?

Nathaniel Hawthorne said, “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you”.  What if we took a minute to sit down quietly today and really think about the kind of life we’re chasing and the kind of life we were made to live? Let us know what you come up with, we can’t wait to hear!

 

Ginger Parrish

CHOOSE THE HAPPY


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We are SO excited to feature Ginger Parrish on Be Bona•Fide today! We've wanted her to be apart of our launch from the second we started talking about this movement. We love how she writes the sweets and SOURS of life on her blog. Ginger's posts on her Instagram and blog are not only inspiring but are very relatable.

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With the combination of the pop of yellow and her constant positive attitude this "Choose the Happy" print screams Ginger Parrish. 

"Life is tough stuff. For every single one of us! No matter what is portrayed through social media, life is tough. But at the very same time, it's so so beautiful! Not only will it run us over when we least expect it + hit us like a ton of bricks if we aren't keeping the important things in perspective, it also provides our souls with the most beautiful memories that we will keep with us forever. If there is one thing that I learned from my mother + relearn every day since becoming a mother myself, it's the importance of choosing the happy in life. Choose to find the good in people around you. Choose to find the best in yourself. In your friends. In your children, or your friend's children. In your family. In every single aspect of your life. It's easy to get distracted with the negative influences wanting us to feel bad about our story, but don't let it consume you. The good is ALWAYS there. We need to choose the happy over + over + over again." -Ginger

I just want to give a huge AMEN to this post! So much of our happiness comes from consciously celebrating the simple joys in life. Next time we are going through a hard situation this print can be in your home to remind us that there is "ALWAYS" something we can be happy about. 

When you are having a bad day, what do you do? 

The thing about having a bad day now that I have two busy little boys to tend to 24/7, is that I can't just like throw in the towel the same way I could before they arrived. As many times as I want to hide under my bed with my iPad streaming Parenthood reruns + a magic invisibility cloak where they can't find me, I can't. No matter how bad I want to. So on crappy days I do one of three things: 1. Go visit Jon at work. He's the very best at thinking outside of the box + reminding me how freaking awesome I am at everything, including complaining. ;) 2. Call Mom. She listens to me complain until I feel better. No matter how long it takes. She ALWAYS has some sort of positive encouragement for me + continually reassures me that life is shorter than it feels on hard days. Number 3: Go to Target. I'm not sure there is an explanation necessary for this one. On REALLY bad days, all three. Repeated as many times as necessary. 

If you could take a pill and be better at one thing tomorrow what would it be? 

Time management. For whatever reason my kick in gear mode doesn't turn on until 15 minutes before the meeting or date or wherever I'm supposed to be. I put my make up on in the car + drive myself bonkers because I always feel like I'm running around with my head cut off. If could have perfect time management I would be set. 

Who is your inspiration?

 In life? My mom. She is the most sincere, hardworking, forgiving, accepting, kind, softhearted person on this earth. She has this superpower speed called Mom speed + she just gets things done. No excuses. I'm still waiting for the day my mom speed kicks in. My inspiration on the internet? Hailey Devine. (http://www.somethingdevineblog.com/) That girl is the salt of the earth. She is stunning, she is kind + she is humble in all the right ways. She makes you feel good about yourself + is always looking to boost others. I love that in a friend + I love that in her. The internet needs more genuine souls like Hailey Devine. 

 What is your favorite sweet? 

Sour patch kids through + through. First I eat all the reds, then then orange, then green + Jon usually throws away the yellow because I let them sit in the bag inside of the cupboard like someone else is going to eat them. I could eat a 10 pound bag in one sitting without blinking an eye. It's bad news. 

What is a life lesson that you live by?  

Kill them with Kindness. I think my mom whispered this in my ear every single night when I was a baby because if there is one life lesson that I feel down to my core, it's this. You don't ever regret being nice. People are usually mean to you because there is something going bad on their end. Don't take it personal. YOU NEVER REGRET being kind. Never eva eva. 

If you have not checked out Ginger's posts you are missing out! Head over to http://www.theparrishplaceblog.com/ or find her insta at @gparrish and be constantly reminded to -Choose the Happy-.