real stories

REAL-NESS

We LOVED this blog post by Greta Lausch from Sweeter Than Yesterday blog! She did an amazing thing with her high school friends. Greta got them together and they all shared their struggles, insecurities and challenges. I'm sure it was a memorable night of bonding and unfiltered love for one another. This has been so inspiring to us that Nicole and I are going to get a group together and talk about our #bonafideconfessions, and we challenge you to do the same!

Here are Greta's words from her blog. We are so impressed by her and her friends and their ability to be brave and vulnerable for us all to see and relate to. 

   I've been thinking a lot about how to get other girls to join me in my love for the bona fide movement & wondering how, with social media being our stage, we could be publically, yet humbly, transparent.   so an already no-so-long-story short, last night seven girls came together to volunteer their vulnerability to spread this concept to the ones around us & challenge ourselves to live this out on & off this social media stage.    easier said than done. it's easy to say that we'll write down some hard stuff that we have wished away so many times before, but then the reality of actually having the courage to do that is so different. it's easy to say that we will love others, but then when they do something that we don't agree with, how do we love them? it's easy to say that we want to judge less, but then when she wears an outfit that i don't like, what are my thoughts? and do i express those thoughts? because then if i do express them, whether by a facial expression or by saying something, and she sees, it feeds into her securities. but then she might do it to a different girl and this whole judging nonsense that girls can't seem to shake (including myself) turns into a huge vicious cycle. why do we do that girls? it hurts. it hurts to be the girl who's being judged but i think it might hurt more to be the judger. we don't judge for no reason, girlfriends. we don't. it's because of our own, sometimes subconscious, insecurities that lead us into those thoughts & gossip. it's the need to be cuter, funnier, happier, skinnier. it's the never ending competition with the girls around us to be the best. unless we end it. unless we stand up & say no more of that. unless we change our hearts, slowly but surely, to soften to the idea to love our own quirks, bodies, hair, laugh, zits, & even to love the same things on the girls around us.   and believe me, i'm far from perfect in this area & often catch myself thinking the "why is she wearing that"'s & the "oh my goodness! she did that!?"'s or even the "wow, my legs look so fat"'s or maybe the "i hate the way my nose does this"'s. you've done it to right? i'm not alone in this, am i?    no. i'm definitely not. i saw that i'm not by the things each of us wrote down on our confession sheets last night.   you're not alone either.    none of us are alone! that's the problem with it all. we act like other people are the only ones who have weird quirks or make odd choices. or maybe it's the opposite; maybe you play the victim card (guilty) & think you're the only one. neither are healthy, but we do it.   yesterday, we were all talking about the night ahead & katie said, "nicole just asked if you can edit her zit. i don't think she gets the concept." we've all been there, haven't we? a zit comes & it really interferes with your entire weeks worth of plans.    addressing what hat we don't like rather than pretending it's not there is much more freeing.    easier said than done.    but it's more freeing.   girls, please know that i'm far from awesome & adopting this concept into my daily life, but when i have a really awesome moment of it, i feel really awesome! when we accept the real-ness of who God made us to be, we will have life & life to the full.    so with all that being said, let's live with grace & utter genuine-ness. it's a challenge to all of us!  here are 7 girls being real with you. it was hard. it was so so so fun & brave of each of them. i am so grateful for the willing transparency & courage despite quirks.

 

I've been thinking a lot about how to get other girls to join me in my love for the bona fide movement & wondering how, with social media being our stage, we could be publically, yet humbly, transparent. 

so an already no-so-long-story short, last night seven girls came together to volunteer their vulnerability to spread this concept to the ones around us & challenge ourselves to live this out on & off this social media stage.  

easier said than done. it's easy to say that we'll write down some hard stuff that we have wished away so many times before, but then the reality of actually having the courage to do that is so different. it's easy to say that we will love others, but then when they do something that we don't agree with, how do we love them? it's easy to say that we want to judge less, but then when she wears an outfit that i don't like, what are my thoughts? and do i express those thoughts? because then if i do express them, whether by a facial expression or by saying something, and she sees, it feeds into her securities. but then she might do it to a different girl and this whole judging nonsense that girls can't seem to shake (including myself) turns into a huge vicious cycle. why do we do that girls? it hurts. it hurts to be the girl who's being judged but i think it might hurt more to be the judger. we don't judge for no reason, girlfriends. we don't. it's because of our own, sometimes subconscious, insecurities that lead us into those thoughts & gossip. it's the need to be cuter, funnier, happier, skinnier. it's the never ending competition with the girls around us to be the best. unless we end it. unless we stand up & say no more of that. unless we change our hearts, slowly but surely, to soften to the idea to love our own quirks, bodies, hair, laugh, zits, & even to love the same things on the girls around us. 

and believe me, i'm far from perfect in this area & often catch myself thinking the "why is she wearing that"'s & the "oh my goodness! she did that!?"'s or even the "wow, my legs look so fat"'s or maybe the "i hate the way my nose does this"'s. you've done it to right? i'm not alone in this, am i?  

no. i'm definitely not. i saw that i'm not by the things each of us wrote down on our confession sheets last night. 

you're not alone either.  

none of us are alone! that's the problem with it all. we act like other people are the only ones who have weird quirks or make odd choices. or maybe it's the opposite; maybe you play the victim card (guilty) & think you're the only one. neither are healthy, but we do it. 

yesterday, we were all talking about the night ahead & katie said, "nicole just asked if you can edit her zit. i don't think she gets the concept." we've all been there, haven't we? a zit comes & it really interferes with your entire weeks worth of plans.  

addressing what hat we don't like rather than pretending it's not there is much more freeing.  

easier said than done.  

but it's more freeing. 

girls, please know that i'm far from awesome & adopting this concept into my daily life, but when i have a really awesome moment of it, i feel really awesome! when we accept the real-ness of who God made us to be, we will have life & life to the full.  

so with all that being said, let's live with grace & utter genuine-ness. it's a challenge to all of us!

here are 7 girls being real with you. it was hard. it was so so so fun & brave of each of them. i am so grateful for the willing transparency & courage despite quirks.

   you, too, can go to bbonafide.com & click under "shop" to download your own confession sheet! then hashtag #bonafideconfessions with your statement!   join this movement girls! it's a good one & we're all just learning it together.

 

you, too, can go to bbonafide.com & click under "shop" to download your own confession sheet! then hashtag #bonafideconfessions with your statement! 

join this movement girls! it's a good one & we're all just learning it together.

 

Follow @gretalausch and be inspired by her and her friends on Instagram! Shine on ☼

 

Things Instagram Girls Do vs Real Life

We all envision a certain life/background when viewing beautiful photos on Instagram, but let's get real, they are not always as perfect as they seem. Of course we all love those beautiful photos or else they wouldn't be so popular, but we love what Leenda from LeendaDProductions put together to show us a little bit of real life and a good laugh. I'm sure we can all relate!

Ginger Parrish

CHOOSE THE HAPPY


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We are SO excited to feature Ginger Parrish on Be Bona•Fide today! We've wanted her to be apart of our launch from the second we started talking about this movement. We love how she writes the sweets and SOURS of life on her blog. Ginger's posts on her Instagram and blog are not only inspiring but are very relatable.

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With the combination of the pop of yellow and her constant positive attitude this "Choose the Happy" print screams Ginger Parrish. 

"Life is tough stuff. For every single one of us! No matter what is portrayed through social media, life is tough. But at the very same time, it's so so beautiful! Not only will it run us over when we least expect it + hit us like a ton of bricks if we aren't keeping the important things in perspective, it also provides our souls with the most beautiful memories that we will keep with us forever. If there is one thing that I learned from my mother + relearn every day since becoming a mother myself, it's the importance of choosing the happy in life. Choose to find the good in people around you. Choose to find the best in yourself. In your friends. In your children, or your friend's children. In your family. In every single aspect of your life. It's easy to get distracted with the negative influences wanting us to feel bad about our story, but don't let it consume you. The good is ALWAYS there. We need to choose the happy over + over + over again." -Ginger

I just want to give a huge AMEN to this post! So much of our happiness comes from consciously celebrating the simple joys in life. Next time we are going through a hard situation this print can be in your home to remind us that there is "ALWAYS" something we can be happy about. 

When you are having a bad day, what do you do? 

The thing about having a bad day now that I have two busy little boys to tend to 24/7, is that I can't just like throw in the towel the same way I could before they arrived. As many times as I want to hide under my bed with my iPad streaming Parenthood reruns + a magic invisibility cloak where they can't find me, I can't. No matter how bad I want to. So on crappy days I do one of three things: 1. Go visit Jon at work. He's the very best at thinking outside of the box + reminding me how freaking awesome I am at everything, including complaining. ;) 2. Call Mom. She listens to me complain until I feel better. No matter how long it takes. She ALWAYS has some sort of positive encouragement for me + continually reassures me that life is shorter than it feels on hard days. Number 3: Go to Target. I'm not sure there is an explanation necessary for this one. On REALLY bad days, all three. Repeated as many times as necessary. 

If you could take a pill and be better at one thing tomorrow what would it be? 

Time management. For whatever reason my kick in gear mode doesn't turn on until 15 minutes before the meeting or date or wherever I'm supposed to be. I put my make up on in the car + drive myself bonkers because I always feel like I'm running around with my head cut off. If could have perfect time management I would be set. 

Who is your inspiration?

 In life? My mom. She is the most sincere, hardworking, forgiving, accepting, kind, softhearted person on this earth. She has this superpower speed called Mom speed + she just gets things done. No excuses. I'm still waiting for the day my mom speed kicks in. My inspiration on the internet? Hailey Devine. (http://www.somethingdevineblog.com/) That girl is the salt of the earth. She is stunning, she is kind + she is humble in all the right ways. She makes you feel good about yourself + is always looking to boost others. I love that in a friend + I love that in her. The internet needs more genuine souls like Hailey Devine. 

 What is your favorite sweet? 

Sour patch kids through + through. First I eat all the reds, then then orange, then green + Jon usually throws away the yellow because I let them sit in the bag inside of the cupboard like someone else is going to eat them. I could eat a 10 pound bag in one sitting without blinking an eye. It's bad news. 

What is a life lesson that you live by?  

Kill them with Kindness. I think my mom whispered this in my ear every single night when I was a baby because if there is one life lesson that I feel down to my core, it's this. You don't ever regret being nice. People are usually mean to you because there is something going bad on their end. Don't take it personal. YOU NEVER REGRET being kind. Never eva eva. 

If you have not checked out Ginger's posts you are missing out! Head over to http://www.theparrishplaceblog.com/ or find her insta at @gparrish and be constantly reminded to -Choose the Happy-. 

Katey McFarlan

UNEDITED 


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We want to give a HUGE thank you to Katey McFarlan for giving us normal humans a little peek of a Bona•Fide perspective on being a blogger.  Katey's  post can help remind us that all jobs (yes, even a blogger)  have cons in them.

We can all agree that we have been caught daydreaming about being in someone else's shoes. The grass-is-greener mentality is very common in all things but especially when it comes to the workforce. 

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It can be hard to see any cons behind a perfectly advertised and edited photo. This print "Unedited" can be a constant reminder not get to get consumed in comparing your unedited job to an edited photo.

We love how bona fide the answers below are, Katey did no hold back on certain topics weighing on her heart. 

What are negatives about being a blogger? 

You have to please thousands of people all the time. One thing might please one reader and annoy 1500 others. Readers forget you are a human and when they don't like something they let you and the world know about it. We are dealing with people sitting behind a computer screen spewing off nasty remarks. In trying to deal with people you can sometimes lose a sense of yourself. That's when you start comparing yourself to everyone. I compare myself to bloggers and readers. There have been times I've thought things as ridiculous as, "Oh if I had photos like she does I don't think people would have anything to be mean about." But the only thing that combats the negatives of pleasing others is being unapologetically confident in who you are as a person. 

Do you have your feelings hurt through social media?

 All. The. Time. Blogger's social media feeds can seem inhuman by being filled with products we use. People will comment on our pages just like they would a media publication, saying their honest [and sometimes harsh] opinions. We read all the comments and their complaints can seem like they regard us as a human being. I just have to remember that a reader just isn't happy with the product, not me, because they don't know me. 

Do you believe social media has affected our society and in what way? 

Absolutely! I think that there are a lot of positives! We get to meet people and form relationships we never would have been able to. I'm consistently inspired to produce quality work because I am able to see the work other women produce. It is so powerful to know how talented women really are. But, it has also combined instant gratification with Millennials. Millennials want to be the best version of themselves, the easiest way possible. Therefore when a blogger posts a photo most of us compare ourselves to her. I've questioned everything from my body type to my eyes. 

What is your biggest weakness?

If there were a club for people pleasers, I would be president. I have written a lot of blog posts about saying no, and while I have learned tricks to get a little better, this is just an inherent trait of my personality. I want to please companies, readers and brands and in the process I forget that this is my job and I should also please myself. I know being a people pleaser is the catalyst to my sensitivity. 

What is your guilty pleasure? 

19 Kids & Counting. Combine that with some Pinot Noir and I can watch it for 14 hours. I send my boyfriend texts all the time like, "Did you know Jessa tweeted this and people got mad so her father-in-law said this, etc." My obsession is bad. Real bad. 

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"I chose the print "Unedited" because although photos can be edited for brands and this industry, I as a human am not. All humans are unedited so the next time you compare yourself to another blogger, remember that their photo is fixed, not them." -Katey 

Bloggers provide us with an element of escape and I think we can easily forget how time consuming and  hard their job can be. So thank you  to all you bloggers (Katey in particular)  out there that keep their job looking easy! 

Next we are feeling like we need to comment something hurtful remember that there is a person behind that photo who has feelings just like you and me. 

Read more about Katey and at http://www.chroniclesoffrivolity.com/ and check out her gram at @kateymcfarlan