Patient

Love is patient. 

 1 Corinthians 13:4-- You probably heard it at the last wedding you went to, or have seen it framed in an adorable nursery on pinterest. The verse gives characteristics to love and for some reason it starts with the idea that love is patient. 

Yes, “Love is kind, it does not envy or boast, and it is not proud, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres”, but first and foremost, “love is patient”. 

Why is that? Why is patience so crucial to love? 

Google’s definition of ‘patient’ is: “able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.”

I think patience is important to love, because it’s so easy to be un-accepting and intolerable with the people we love most. It’s probably because we know they’ll love us even after our moments of impatience, but should we allow that to be an excuse? Probably not.

Thinking about it, when was the last time you were impatient? Who was it directed towards and what was it about? 

Patience certainly involves grace - people really do move at glacial speeds when we’re in a hurry and don’t always catch on as soon as we’d like them to - but when you really think about that last moment of impatience wasn’t there something else going on?

For me, impatience usually comes from some deeper source of anxiety, but bubbles out as agitation over little things. 

So often I live one step ahead of the moment - I’m physically there, but my mind is racing an hour or a month or a year in front of me. And somehow, this disconnect between my body and my mind generates an intense feeling of stress, which then leads to me snapping at my husband or the people who don’t pay attention in line at Starbucks or Al the Dog. 

It seems like being patient maybe means settling into your life - like choosing to be being patient maybe has a lot to do with choosing to be present.

Which makes sense doesn’t it? How can we feel at rest or calm in the moment if we aren’t 100% in the moment? How can we feel content with our lives if we’re constantly thinking about what’s next? 

Gretchen Rubin, Author of the “Happiness Project” says, “The days are long, but the years are short.” 

The truth is that where we’re at right now and all that we’re experiencing in this very moment, is important and will be gone in an instant. As a day seems to drag along, our lives really do pass by so fast. How can we figure out how to embrace them? How can we figure out how settle in and choose to patiently live in the moment, because right now, this very second, is once in a lifetime? 

That’s my goal currently. All suggestions welcome. 

Joyful

 “I want to see beauty. In the ugly, in the sink, in the suffering, in the daily, in all the days before I die, the moments before I sleep.” ANN VOSKAMP

 

 

To be joyful I think you must be aware. You must have the kind of eyes that catch the small glittering pieces of goodness in a long day and notice the beauty in what many would call insignificant or even ugly.  Things like an old couple sitting at Starbucks together or a dad fishing with his kid in the pond at the park. Things like the person singing alone in their car next to you and the smell of the magnolias beginning to bloom. 

I believe joy is all around us waiting to be discovered and chosen, but I think it’s often left unnoticed - brushed past in our frantic scurry of a life. 

See, happiness is an emotion that bubbles over in laughter and often excitement, but joy is quiet. Like a whisper telling you it's okay to put down your guard now. It’s the thing that exists beneath the surface - beneath happiness or sadness, beneath the little stresses of the day. Joy is the pulsing emotion that tells you, at your core, life is good and everything is going to be okay. 

It’s peace. 

A joyful person is at rest and in tune with themselves and the world around them, and that peace and connected-ness allows them to experience life in even the most mundane. 

These are the people that smile doing the laundry because as they fold their babies clothes they dream of the human they will become. They’re the people that can have a real conversation with anyone, because they know there’s always something to learn. They aren’t free of strife, they’re the people that persists in spite of it - that choose to get up and keep going, because they'd rather love life than avoid it. 

And, I think this is key. The most joyful people are rarely the ones with the most money or best bodies or largest social media followings - they’re actually often times the ones going through the greatest hardships. The ones that understand life in such a deeper way than the rest of us, because they know how delicate it is.  They know joy doesn’t just happens to you, that it  doesn’t comes about when all the pieces finally fall into place. They know that Joy is something you must choose...even when the pieces are a mess, scattered all over the floor. 

Are you capable of that? Can you choose joy?

Choose to Be Fearless

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Haven’t you always dreamed about being fearless?

The girl that goes for the job, the summer long adventure, the guy.

The girl that believes in herself, that exudes confidence.

The one that laughs and cries and doesn't worry about what anyone else thinks of it.

Doesn't that sound amazing?

That's how I want to be. That's how I want to live. I want to really go for it. I want to chase after life and catch it. I want to fall and get up, and fall and get up, and be willing to do it all over again a third time.

But here's another secret. A lot of the time I'm pretty afraid.

A lot of the time, I live so in my head that I put my heart on mute.

A lot of the time, I miss the moment. I miss life.

Does that ever happen to you?

Don't you hate it?

See, I believe we're supposed to live a life that is full to the brim of love and beauty and adventure, but when I look around and when I look within I see more timidity and fear than ready to dive of the cliff charisma.

What is up with that?

You are all so stunning and smart and have the BEST ideas! What’s holding you back? What’s making you afraid to show people who you really are? 

I'm the girl that dreams about skydiving but can’t even handle thinking about the feeling of actually jumping out in faith. I’m the one that climbs up the ladder to the high dive and then literally turns around and climbs back down… bumping into 7 year olds as I do.

Seriously. I look up there and see those kids jumping into the water and think, AMAZING, GET ME UP THERE, but then when I’m given the opportunity I want to hide under my lawn chair instead.

Does that ever happen to you? Do you ever hear about opportunities, or jobs, or experiences that just sound like the best thing you’ve ever heard of, but you can't actually get yourself to choose them? I’m talking about the things or people that make you feel weak in the knees with longing, but overwhelm you with fear all at the same time.

You know what I mean, right? We see these people stepping out, leaping off, and plunging in all around us, but we stay clinging to the edge.

We have the opportunity to go on a fantastic backpacking trip in Europe, but feel nervous about spending the money. Or, this really awesome guy asks us out on a date, but it just feels too unpredictable so we stay home instead. Or, you have this beautiful idea about starting a company that inspires women to be themselves...but it's really hard. And really scary.

Do you ever feel like that? Do you ever feel worked into a tizzy by fear? Wrapped up in nervousness or anxiety or just this desire to hide?

Well here’s the truth: you are not alone.

But, let’s not stay there.

Let’s not hide beneath our fear.

Let’s be women that go for it. That are willing to fail and be heart broken and risk it all, because we’re unwilling to miss out on the experiences that might get us there. Let’s go on adventures. Let’s fall in love. Let’s jump off the cliff.

Mood Stone Launch!

Choose your Mood Change your World 

Hi, friends! The day is here..It is finnnallly HERE! 

We are sooo excited to launch our new campaign called “Choose Your Mood, Change Your World” and we are hoping you want to be apart of it! We have created a MOOD stone bracelet that will be a constant reminder that you have the power to choose. You have the power to choose your outcome of the obstacles life throws us. Together we can encourage ourselves and others to choose to be.... Joyful, Happy, Brave, Patient, Positive, Grateful, Strong, Kind, Adventurous, Courageous and Fearless instead of being a victim to our circumstances. What mood do you need to choose? How is will this reminder change your world?  The common theme from all the stories we’ve heard from our followers is that we’re all stronger than we think, and we each have the power within us to make lemonade from lemons.

For me I need this reminder to choose to be brave, to share my story with others (especially the messy parts). Portraying a perfect life is easy to do, I consciously have to make the choice to choose to be brave. This is something that does not come naturally for me. When I make the choice to be brave- I'm happier. My world is no longer consumed by my trials, but focused on my relationships with others.

We will be sharing your bona fide stories and the mood you choose on our Instagram and on our site. Let's get real (pun intended) and create a bona fide community together. Below is an easy way on how to join us! 

This delicate little mood stone bracelet that has the words "Choose Your Mood, Change Your World" inscribed on the back. Find it in our shop.... to celebrate this launch day we are providing the first 20 orders with a discount code type CHOOSE at check out. 

Answer two questions: What mood are you choosing? How will it change your world? 

Take one picture of yourself wearing the bracelet and submit your words on our site under the JOIN US tab or via email at Hello@bbonafide.com. 

We are so excited for this piece of jewelry to come alive.... we know this campaign is powerful and will grow this small bona fide community we have created and are creating together! 

Stay Tuned. 

Much Love, 

Nicole and BB Team

On Choice

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I choose…

That’s really what it all boils down to isn’t it?

There are so many things that happen to us, whether it’s for us or against us, but ultimately, the kind of life we will live will be determined by the choices we make.

Big choices like who we will love, little choices like what we will do this weekend, choices between good and evil - choices that will change everything.

One of the most frustrating emotions to me is apathy - that state you find yourself in where you simply can’t or won’t choose anything. Sometimes it’s caused by depression or insecurity, other times it’s simply laziness, but to me it’s sad because ultimately it’s a lack of interest in life. It’s surrendering to your circumstances and letting life happen to you instead of getting up and living it.

I think it bothers me so much, because I can so distinctly remember living this way and feeling so trapped in a dull half-life.

Have you ever experienced that? A season where you let yourself be a victim to your circumstances? Where you gave up your role as the leading lady and settled to play the best friend?

At Be Bona Fide we believe in full life- messy, imperfect, beautiful, full to the brim life. The kind where you’re the star of the show, where you get to wear all the best costumes and end up with the guy at the end. We believe in plot twists and adventure and blossoming into the best version of ourselves.

We believe we were all made for more. And we know that we only get this kind of life if we choose it. If we reach out and say I choose to live fully alive.

Take a minute today to think about the kind of choices you’re making. Are you choosing the life you were born to live, the life you want to live? If not, what could you do to change that?