Mackenzie's Loss Story

 
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I was 7 months pregnant with my first child, and in my very last semester of college. I was so excited about this phase of life. It was at this time when my mom passed away after a 6 year battle with cancer. My world was turned upside down at a time when I was supposed to be on top of everything. I had to get ready for a baby. I had to graduate. I was scared to grieve fully because I didn't know how that would effect my unborn baby. I wanted to break down and run out of every class, but I had to finish. Nearly 2 years later and I still break down because I miss her. And because my kid will never know her in this life. I'll never be able to hug her. It's all still a lot. But I choose positivity and I choose perspective, and that has changed everything. I have a husband who loves and supports me. I've got the coolest little toddler to keep me on my toes. I've got amazing family members around me that light up my life! I've got a faith that helps me through the dark times. I have a lot to be happy about. And so I am happy. Yes there are times when I break down, but they are always followed by times where I got back up. To me, being bona fide is being true to myself. I try my best to be honest and genuine on social media, but I also don't throw my story around. It's personal to me, and if sharing a dark time publicly won't bring me peace, then I'm going to make a phone call instead. But if I feel that my story, or my perspective on the situation can benefit others, then I love sharing. We all have a lot to offer, but we have to be in the right head space to be willing to do so. I'm grateful for those who share their stories, and in doing so they've brought me peace. Jill Thomas from the event comes immediately to mind. And I hope that as I find moments that feel right to me, that I'll be able to uplift those around me as well.